Contemplations Of A Witch

I’m been thinking recently about several “big” projects that were inspired by something Aimee said about healthcare, something my sister Morgana said about education, and something Isaac Bonewits’ page says about Elders……..
(deep breath for long tirade)

I’ll start with my sister:
I want Pagans to be in the top religions that are “highly educated”. This is a big pipedream where she and I have started to get all of our yahoo group friends, as well as IRL friends to go back to college to better themselves, and provide for their futures. I’m not saying everyone should become doctors (although that would make me seriously chuffed!) but even getting a simple A.A. is a degree. Now this idea bleeds into Aimee’s thought about universal healthcare in the states (since this is the only industrialised country without one is total codswallop….)

When I get done with medical school I’d like to get other Pagans and Wiccans together that are in medical fields to start doing community service by offering free aide in a caravan of sorts. Of course this would have to be localised to each person’s board certified area, but I”ll have to look into how Doctors Without Borders are allowed to practice outside of their jurisdiction. Since I have the sad feeling that it will be a few years off before the states are health covered, and it definitely will be a few years off before even a bunch could have CNA,LPN etc degrees to help out with the medical caravan. And this bleeds into something off of Isaac Bonewits page about Eldercare…..

It’s becoming time that our Pagan and Wiccan Elders are actually becoming elderly. And I’m not talking about Elders of just certain Traditions and Sects….but we need to include Elders of all Traditions….it’s honouring and respecting those that have come before us, because if we set an example to our children that the younger generation takes care of the older generations, then we will be starting the cycle that insures we will be taken care of. This is a set of traditions that need to be written into all Traditions. It makes it evident that Gardnerians and Alexandrians need to stop bickering about “who’s holier or more sanctified”….When it boils down to denominations, Christians have their differences like we do, but when faced with an opposing religion, they tend to come together. and now I am rambling. I’ve been up too long today, and thankfully I have tomorrow off from summer session classes at Uni.

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Okay I haven’t been around since before Thanksgiving. I’ve been too busy with University, and family to honestly keep up with PN, Myspace, Live Journal, Xanga, facebook whathave you…….thankfully I only have this one, myspace and lj, now….

The question is for any PN member that feels up to answering it is: What happened to Shaitan and Solstice? I’m sure there are others who are also unregistered users now……but having politely bantered with these two, I noticed them being absent. Not having been deeper friends with either, that is also a contributing factor as to why I don’t know why they are gone. Just wondering, not really trying to pry here but I was just curious.
And yes I know that curiosity salted the snail.lol

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Hail and hello any and all who may or may not read this.
This is just a general catch all for those who are interested.
Fall was too hard, since I took too many classes. I learned a very valuable lesson “I am not Hermione” and “I do not have one of those time changy thingy’s”.lol. This semester is better.Emphasis on better and not wonderful. Anatomy is awesome, and I love the fact that we have 2 cadavers! It’s really rare for an undergrad school to have them, and we have 2. Count em, 1, 2!lol! The smell doesn’t bother me, the bodies don’t bother me, and I actually end up being Dr.Buie’s assistant at most chances!lol!

Being premed is a hard course load, but I”m surviving. There are days that the time I am going to put into this, will pay off, and I will be able to recover my senses later in life!lol!
And then I have days like today where I go through a degree audit online and wonder if I”m making the right choice. Then I get distracted, and dejected, and I end up feeling like this isn’t worth it at all. Like I’d prefer to be a happy beach bum housewife. But that’s not financially an option.

But anywho….I might try and post again later this week…….I should be studying since the semester is rounding up…..and I’m running out of time to make B’s higher.lol.

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Well for the last few weeks that I have had my windows open at night for the cooling air, there is a “natural gas” odour wafting in our backwindow. The smell would only pick-up after 5pm and I figured it was a neighbours line that was leaking because I wasn’t using any gas. I was seriously mistaken!! We had a lovely gas leak on the house line. LOVELY. So when I called the gas co. Friday afternoon to have them come and check he used “the sniffer” tool and couldn’t find any leaks, but occasionally would get a “whiff” of “gas” from somewhere. So he even checked my neighbours on either side of me, and the two whose houses back mine, just in case, and then when he came back to tell me that he still hadn’t found anything, it went off. That was because he was up against my backwall where the lines feed in and my utility room window is where I was smelling the leak. So he shut my gas off, and we got a lovely red tag that said “unsafe conditions” and couldn’t stay in our house until it was fixed. So there I was Friday afternoon with a 22 month old, my husband is a grease monkey, and we need to find a hotel room until this can get fixed. I called him to come home early, and then called the company the gas man suggested to fix it. He said that they would come out Saturday morning and we’d be back home by Sat afternoon.
So we get all packed-up for our “undetermined” stay at a hotel, and Anya is tickled because she thinks we are going on a trip or vacation like we did back in May when we drove to Oklahoma.
Well the long and short of it is, the line wasn’t fixed until this morning, it was an ungodly amount b/c I called them on the weekend

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Well I feel that way anyway. I have been MIA since the 19th of sept,. and now that it is Oct. with a rather uneventful Autumnal Equinox behind me I too feel like a POW when it comes to school taking the foreground and my family and friends taking more than the backseat. I have started bringing Anya to bed with me so I can feel her next to me for some “emotional” support. Sad…..We went to the park today for waaaaaaaaay too long and ended up having to call Dada to come and pick us up (we walked there, which is a good mile through residential, with a 22 month old, who is rather active and not currently of the mood to hold hands with Mummy…..grrr)We were so worn out when he came to get us it was bath time, dinner and then crash. I’m only awake b/c I wanted to see Heroes, and now Tori on Leno…….I’m foregoing my homework for between my lab and lec tomorrow morning. Which I’m sure is a big mistake, but I needed some “me” time tonight, which I am taking now.So wave at “ME” b/c you may not see me for a few more days again…….How sad…so sad, oh well oh helll

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It was my birthday yesterday now, the 13th! I had a really long, really great birthday. It was sucky having to take an organic chem test,and having to buy my own birthday cake and wrapping paper, but as I was leaving the Grocery store I saw two Barbie dolls in the Claw grab machine….and I was feeling birthday lucky.
I spent 50 cents…….and fucking won. On the first try, I got Azura, one of the Barbies and I started screaming in excitement. Two cartpushers were passing me and saw that I had won and I was like,”It’s my birthday ( I whipped out my license) and I freaking won on the first try!!” and because I was being a mad woman, two cashiers came around the corner to see what was up and I was like, “I won, it’s my birthday!!” And I had a stupid grin all the way home! Matt picked-up my Mum and Grandparents at the airport and they were waiting for me to show-up at the restaurant (Up the Creek) for my birthday luncheon. They will be here in the States for the weekend, and I thankfully don’t have a class tomorrow that needs me going to…yeah playing hookie, but my family made the trip, and my Granma HATES flying, so she really made a big jump for her. I haven’t been home in over two years now, and even though my Mum visits once a month, and my grands have visited in December for Anya’s birthday/Yule visit the last two years, it’s still not the same.
I wanted to have a drink at Up the Creek, but not in front of my Grands….my dad was an alcoholic and I have had drinking issues in the past…so I understand why they have concern….but I’ve only had like two drinks in the last year and they were Smirnoffs…..
I’m gone…need sleep for tomorrow’s aquarium visit.

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NO honestly! Why isn’t today a National American holiday? Dubbya could have done something worth remembering that isn’t him being a cock-up by making today a national holiday (especially the ones that get pay, like Labour Day and Memorial Day).
Having a former military life, I understand the importance of those that lost their lives…..especially those that tried to stop their hijackers on their own plane.It takes alot of courage to attack your attacker. And it’s just crazy that I had to go to school today. In my Organic Chem lec today there were 9 out of 39, and those same nine (me included) were in our lab later out of 15. I almost just slept in today like so many others choose to do, but I had a test before lab and it is in betwixt my lec and lab classes so I had to be there for the middle part of the day, so I might as well be there for the first and last part……
Well I have maths to do…….grrr…I have been so slack in my maths …..(and for those that read this and go “Why does she say Maths?” Because Maths is the correct plural of MATHematicS.See Big M and Big S….Maths…..eh, I had to discuss this with a girl earlier….I need to get back to work…..

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I have had several recurring dreams of an unrequited lover. He and I had a wonderful relationship, and through deception on both of our parts, we just stopped talking and I haven’t heard from him in nearly a decade. I will admit to being young and impetuous in our “young love” and I did attach myself rather quickly to his attentions which led to some loose naked photos of me residing in Australia. But that isn’t the bad part, I got over some random person encountering my naked self ages ago, and it doesn’t upset me. What upsets me is that fact that I never heard back from him, and haven’t heard or seen him online even in years. I’d hate for him to have died and not gotten the chance to reconcile our differences.

The ultimately sucky thing is that if he showed-up again in my life and promised me to never deceive me again and so on and so forth…..I would heavily consider dumping my husband and going freely into his arms. Ofcourse I’d take Anya with me,but Matt and I have had our differences over the last 6 years, and we have had our marital strains as well. He was even flirting online with a coworker,which I quickly nipped in the bud, but I’m hurt from the experience.

I found a floppy disk that has photos of my unrequited love and myself on it……and I sat for more than a few hours just going through them and reminiscing……and wishing we were still together. I’ve been mentally beating myself up over this for the last few days and have been avoiding friends and family that I can b/c I feel that my face will say that I am not happy and that I have thought of going on a wild goose chase back to Australia to find him……….I was sitting at a stop light yesterday and caught myself in my rearview and I do look distracted……there is something in my eyes that says volumes……I’ve even meditated to try and break the bonds betwixt us….but I still “feel” him…….so I know he isn’t dead…..but why is he in the forefront of my mind, and why now?

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So the first week of Fall Uni has come to a crashing end. The server that the online classes are on has crashed more days than it has been up and running. I have successfully already fallen behind in at least two classes becaue of this.Wonderful,loverly,just smashing,pure unadulterated bollocks…..
I’ve had several meaningful conversations in my Am.Lit and Psych classes, but my Chem class is totally losing me on Dimensional Analysis. I’me having issues with English conversion and Metric problems. He’s teaching in English Conversion,and I know Metric, but I can’t reconcile the two……Ironic that English is taught in America and not England.Oh well Oh hell. My math class is alright, but the video tutors are soooo booooorrrriiiinnnngggg. It’s like they have never known a day of happiness in their lives and are not exuding any warmth or even confidence in their abilities with their deadpan teaching style. John, the guy with the beard, is better than the others, but he’s still slow to the punch. I’m already fifteen trillion steps ahead of him as he slowly goes through the steps, which makes me start to wander and not focus b/c I’m ahead of him and then this will become detrimental in the long run to my success in this course. I saw a friend in the hall the other day and she said she ah

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I stood in-line at the campus bookstore today for 2 hours.I was unable to get my books at the usual cheaper book store because I have a few webclasses this term.Two hours…..gah, and the aircond wasn’t that functional was we all stood and waited. They had a campus guard at the door only letting 20 in at a time…and then the shelves were so bare,of even the new books which cost more too,but part of me feels like I’m missing a book or study guide or something!It was much cheaper than I had anticipated….this is why I feel like something is off…..but that would be awesome if nothing is missing, then I get to keep the remaining $583 for personal use…like getting a new water pump for my car, and the radiator flushed, oh and the belt pulley system is in my trunk…it just needs to replace the worn-out/slightly bent one that is under my hood. I was offered a free car by a coworker of my husband….but I feel that it has too much work that needs to be done…that and I also feel that it possibly has a bent frame and they can’t sell it,so that is why it is free.
But I haven’t told Matt about the possible boucoupe extra money…..he’d get little dollar signs in his eyes like a cartoon character and it would deeply go to his head….
I’m currently watching a piece on India and BT Cotton….it’s infuriating….
Oh and the online server has crashed yet again today….well what are they to suspect when 90k students in the state of TN use the same D2L system.
I need to find something happy…..tell me a joke somebody!:D

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